I will focus on a method of Start-Stop-Continue to deepen practices that Muslims have developed during the month of Ramadan. If you want to engage in personal behavioural change, this tool is an excellent methodology of self-examination and a way to better plan your future.
While many of us relish the approach of Ramadan as an opportunity to recharge our spiritual batteries, when the month is over, many of us fall into the trap of depleting our spiritual “reserves” that we managed to bank by way of negligence, returning to old patterns, laziness or just simple heedlessness.
One challenge that I am setting for myself (and you) is to maintain all the aspects of growth and rejuvenation that I achieved during Ramadan. Additionally, I aim to maintain that growth and to increase it in my life throughout the coming year. By offering this challenge to you, I believe that you can maintain your own growth, and reap similar benefits with this focus also.
Gains achieved in the month of Ramadan are not limited solely to our spiritual lives; they extend to other areas of our well-being and functioning as believers and as humans.
Gains achieved in the month of Ramadan are not limited solely to our spiritual lives; they extend to other areas of our well-being and functioning as believers and as humans. My self-care theory is based on what I call the Four Quadrants of Self Care:Physical, Spiritual, Emotional and Educational. These quadrants cover the whole of human functioning and paying attention to all of them produces a well-balanced human. In order to develop a robust self-care plan, these Four Quadrants all need focused attention and continued effort.
If we think back to the start of Ramadan, many of us had plans to take advantage of the opportunities of the month. We may have achieved some of those goals and excelled in others, but in some aspects… not so much. However, whether we accomplished any of the goals that we set or not, the opportunity for Post-Ramadan gains still await us.
And here it is:
The Start-Stop-Continue methodology is a tool that we can use to initiate and maintain good practices that will enrich our lives and, hopefully, the lives of people around us.
The methodology is quite simple. Ask yourself: what do I need to Start, Stop and/or Continue to accomplish my goals and achieve the gains that I desire in my life? Coupling that with my Four Quadrants of Self Care, you can approach your Post-Ramadan life with renewed interest and hope.
So PHYSICALLY what do you want? Ramadan, for many, had a focus on nutrition and rest. Not eating for many hours over an entire month calls for changes in our eating patterns and a keen interest in nutrition. The month was replete with people eating balanced meals full of nutrition, as well as strategic meal planning. We also paid attention to our hydration and we cut out bad things from our diets. Smokers stopped or limited tobacco use, and we sought out refreshing sleep periods. Those things alone can fuel a better and more hopeful, year ahead.
What do we want to start beyond Ramadan? Yoga? Pilates? Walking for exercise or going to the gym? Are there things that you wanted to start but never got to? Were they physical things that you were unable to address in Ramadan?
Are there bad habits that you want to stop Post-Ramadan? Well, now is as good a time as any, what do you want to stop? Limit caffeine intake or sleeping in? Something else?
The Continue method is probably one of the most successful methods to take advantage of moving forward. You have achieved a lot of physical gains this month: your diet, your caloric intake, your food choices, your weight loss. All really great parts of your Post-Ramadan to continue to make gains. Would you like to continue the positive steps that you have taken?
Many Muslims report a Post-Ramadan sense of melancoly or even failure
SPIRITUALLY, what do you want? The Start-Stop-Continue continuum in this Quadrant is very individually focused. Are there new frontiers of your spiritual life that you would like to start? This Ramadan, did you discover, or experience a new way of knowing that gave you a glimpse of the possible and is it something you would like to explore some more? Here, the Stop regularly relates to the things that defeated us during the month of fasting, even though we had firm resolve and intention to not do them during Ramadan. Let us make a new resolution to stop those things.
Continue the great things that we were able to do during the blessed month. We were able to fast for 29 or 30 days, so continuing with fasting even a few days every month reconnects us with the great benefits that we received during Ramadan. Fasting the recommended six days in Shawwal is a great time to start. What else is there? Charitable giving and volunteering, our relationship with the Quran and dhikr… Continue that.
If you were finally able to control one or more of the negative emotions, that’s a great place to continue.
The EMOTIONAL challenges regularly plague us throughout the year, and the month of Ramadan might have been a time of greater gains or lesser struggle in managing our emotions. While Ramadan might have been the time where our anger, greed, and jealousy were managed, deep-seated emotions that have taken root in our lives could still have played in our minds and hearts. Unresolved grief and loss, uncertainty, sadness, were all very difficult parts of our inner life that could have been part of our struggle. The easy gains in the month, like being less angry or jealous can be practices we continue. If you were finally able to control one or more of the negative emotions, that’s a great place to continue. Are there any positive emotional responses that you would like to work on? Like gratefulness, forgiveness, hopefulness. And what negative emotional mindset would you like to stop?
The EDUCATIONAL gains that we made in Ramadan regularly are a part of our life-long learning. So continuing those practices would be significant in propelling our own personal development in a positive direction. Do you get any insight into things that you would like to start? Reading more? Memorizing more of the Holy Quran? Are they books you would like to read or a skill that you encountered which you wish you had learned? Are there new horizons in your educational life that you have always wanted to encounter? Finally starting that online course? Today is your best day to start.
While this short essay alerts us to those things that we can Start, Stop and Continue, we are creatures of habit that love to settle into the places of our lives that make us comfortable, where we don’t have to stretch… My wife calls it the “Taylor Slide”; just moving forward unhindered and unimpeded. But major changes and shifts in direction in our lives don’t come easily and without work. This shift towards maintaining our Ramadan gains compel us to pay close attention to our lives, to be diligent in our approach and resolute in our focus.
Here are four tips to maintain those gains:
1. Write down your gains and goals and keep them in a place where you can see them.
2. Celebrate your milestones.
3. Share your plans with others, and encourage them to join you.
4. Get a buddy or a coach that will encourage and motivate you.
You can do it! You’ve had 30 days of gains. Why stop now?
